Lost Coin Notes – SLC Group
December 21, 2010
 
We are talking tonight about the three centers.
 
Doen started with a Gurdjieff (G) story. When G was teaching he had school in France - about 100 students. One student was Fritz Peters (F) who wrote a book called Boyhood with Gurdjieff (recommended). He describes meeting with G, his parents prepared him to be terrified. But G was very nice and simple.  G asked him questions – why was he there? He responded - because his parents were there. G asked him what would he like to learn, F responded that he would like to learn about life, why are we here? G said – OK, well, I want you to do something for me – I want you to mow the lawn. Fritz, at 11 years old said OK. G said that life is full of surprises, but that I want you to mow the lawn regardless – no matter what – can you do that? F said OK. G was an immediate teacher – more of an artist and man of action – how you really learn – to have will.
 
G got into a terrible accident on the way to Paris, he was in the hospital, in a coma. Eventually he went back to the school. Everyone was being very careful about G’s recovery. When they heard the lawnmower, they told F to stop so it wouldn’t bother G. F wouldn’t stop. After three weeks, G wakes up and hears the noise and smiles and waves at F. After a few days, G talks to F – he sees potential. He says to F that he wants him to do something else. How long does it take to mow the lawns – 3-4 days? I want you to do it in one day – regardless of how long it takes.
 
To some people this seems very tough, others see it as amusing. It is amusing unless it is happening to you. G was Doen’s personal hero from age 17 – he read all the books on him – he was Doen’s model human being.   But after studying with 4th Way and Zen teachers – and was pushed very hard to feel hurt - Doen gained and lost something. He would ask teachers to be softer and they would respond they needed to be that hard. Doen doesn’t push – so we have to do it. In some ways that makes it harder. You have to come forward – that I need to learn this . . . But he thinks it is better – it is sustainable – this is relevant for this time.
 
You may think this is just Doen’s temperament, but at one time Daido relieved him of his duties because he was so hard. At ZMM, Doen and Karen were referred to as the gruesome two-some, so this is something he has learned. He is glad to push you – but you have to ask him. He would rather you take a few years longer than give up on the whole thing – but you have to make a constant effort to grow.
 
Q and A
 
#1 One student commented that they like some structure and that is why they like Lost Coin.
 
Doen is pushing you – but gently. He could be saying, you have one year to move to San Francisco and that is it – that is hard push.  If you want more – ask him. To be a teacher, Genpo required Doen to come to Utah and not work in his previous profession. This was after 15 years of training. When Doen became paralyzed he had to quit anyway – so going to SLC was an adventure. Genpo knew who he was and that he could probably do it. 
But he found the best way to work with people was to have a relationship – he felt that in his heart.  
       
#2 Another student asked about loving kindness meditation
 
About loving kindness meditation – zazen is not meditation. There are many kinds of meditation that are geared to different things. Zazen is geared to a break-through of seeing through to the nature of reality. Doen has found that many of the people who use that meditation for many years – are hateful. Loving kindness is not a goal – it evolves. You can’t learn to love your husband – you do or you don’t – you can’t contrive those feelings. The occasional person can do it, e.g., Pema Chodron – who studied with a crazy teacher and came to that. The character of this group is a blend of Zen + Fourth Way.  (Zen often attracts the young and disenfranchised).
 
#3 What is meditation in the 4th Way style?
 
The 4th Way teachings included something like zazen (because G studied in Tibet). It also included –Musica – improvisational classical piano; personal assignments – like the “I Am” exercises (for example, Doen had to meditate on “what he wanted to be” every day for one month); physical work practice: cooking, building, etc. Most of the G centers were built by participants.
 
#4 It is good you are patience – because I am so busy – don’t have as much time to practice.
 
For women with children, he is surprised you are doing as much as you are – just do sitting consistently – even if it is only 15 minutes. Otherwise you will forget why you are doing this.  Or take a whole day for yourself.  The last words the historical Buddha: life is like a dew drop, dream, fantasy – you would regard it thus – when I am gone – be a lamp unto yourself. Doen now understands those words in new way – life is constantly moving, always changing. Look inside yourself for the answers – the answers are in there.
 
#5 Please clarify Inner Considering
 
Inner considering in the student/teacher relationship: we should be free from inner considering (like being a lamp unto yourself), only take on other’s opinions if they are your own. But what about if I have a teacher and they want to introject answers? There are two answers: 1) not really – sit and look - you are going on a path Doen has already been on. He is telling us what a generation of teachers have said.  If you are introjecting anything it is an entire lineage. Also, this is the one exception to inner considering.  Inner considering = unconscious. When you are listening consciously – that is different.
 
On the airplane, Doen was sitting next to nice woman and he could have made a joke – but he realized she was too young. If she were older, more worldly, he may have told the joke but he was concerned that she may have taken it the wrong way. This is external considering = high degree of being sensitive.  Understanding cause and effect – do unto others.
 
Three Centers
 
Intellectual, emotional (like and dislike) and moving (imitation and repetition) are helpful way to understand yourself.  We all have all three parts – need to balance all three – then have aim and will and can really do things.
 
Which one do you operate out of most of the time? Lots of people think they are deciding with their intellect but they are deciding with their emotions. We think we have it all figured out – but really do it or don’t do it because of a feeling. Problem is – most of the feelings are negative. So we are deciding on fear/anxiety, anger, blame.  We have a word for anxious - normal. When we are walking around anxious and someone ask us how we are – we say fine. Don’t beat yourself up because of it – just look at it. We get anxious about the smallest thing and it doesn’t matter – can be about the smallest thing.
 
Anger is the victim thing – it is wrong and it is someone else’s fault – and it makes you powerless to change. Ignorance – comes from thinking you are alone – you can’t see your commonality – we carry tree genes, we didn’t emerge out of a different substance – this is us. Mind is buddha = your mind (not the content) it does not have edges – that is the Way.  In the meantime we fall mechanically into the emotional center. If you could spend ½ hour a day neither fearful nor angry, you would never go back. We all know this intuitively and we know it is hard work.
 
Kathleen Riordan’s book, The Gurdjieff Work  is recommended, for a detailed analysis of centers (each center has three parts). Each center produces a different art, religion, for example, orchestral music. Doen doesn’t like Italian opera because it comes from the emotional part of the emotional center (also Pete Seeger/soap operas). He prefers Bartok and Bach – these artists come from the more intellectual center of the emotional center. Bob Dylan – emotional part of intellectual center.   
 
Take a look at your centers. G learned this in Tibet – we can observe ourselves, we are not machines, we can be conscious of what we do. But there is a problem if we observe it with the emotional center – because then we decide if we like or don’t like it.  If you think you are so bad, you are over rating it.
 
There are two higher centers – the seat of love, kindness, compassion (it doesn’t mean no sadness)  and the higher intellectual – clear seeing. In Tibetan – go to intellectual first and that opens heart. 4th Way is reverse.
 
Doen thinks the most beautiful thing in the story with Fritz and Gurdjieff is when he told Fritz to not stop regardless – the emotion he is instilling is will and love. Love and will are not so far apart.  
